


Some Things Work Out for the Better

by bringmesomepie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caring Sam, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Protective Castiel, Protective Sam Winchester, Rape, Sick Dean Winchester, tied up Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2017-12-25 11:27:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmesomepie/pseuds/bringmesomepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean wakes up and doesn't know where he is. He is on a old worn down bed bare ass naked, tied up and spread eagle. He calls out Sam's name but a strange man appears...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Sam! Sammy!” Dean yelled shortly after he woke up tied to a bed butt naked and spread eagle.

“Oh, Sammy’s not here. He’s still sleeping in the motel. He thinking you’re still out looking for a hot girl at a bar.” This man standing at the end of the bed staring at Dean said.

“Who are you?” 

“Let’s just say I’m a friend of Crowleys.” 

“You’re a demon?”

“Oh, I’m not a demon. I’m a friend of a demon.” 

“Why would be a friend of a demon?”

“Because it’s awesome!”

“How is that awesome?”

“Crowley owns my soul. I sold my soul to him so I could help him with all the things that he needs help with that demons can’t do. Like torture one Dean Winchester." 

“How are you going to torture me? I lasted 30 fucking years in Hell. I don’t think I’ll break very easy for you.”

The man laughed. He crawled onto the bed and in between Dean’s legs he sat. Dean getting a little self-conscious about being bare ass naked and spread eagle for a guy I didn’t even know while tied to a bed in a warehouse. The man’s face went from a sinister grin to a shock/surprised face. “You’re a carrier.” 

Dean lost all color in his face and turned bright red at the same time. How did you know that?”

“Crowley told me, you idiot.” 

Dean hated being a carrier. He hated anybody knowing he could carrying children inside him. It made him feel weak and fragile. Only Sam and Cas knew he was one. Sam knew since John took Dean and Sam to get tested for it. Dean was 15, Sam was 11.

When Dean first found out he worked 10x harder to prove to his dad that being a carrier wouldn’t stop him from being a hunter and the best one out there. He worked harder and harder each day until he wore himself into a heat stroke after chasing a werewolf, shooting it in the heart with a sliver bullet and running back to the Impala, where John and little Sammy where waiting, with the corpse over his shoulder. He had just turned 17, so Sam was 13. They were in the middle of Alabama at 12 during this. It wasn’t normal for werewolves to be out in the day light but Dean got the bastard. He was about 20 feet away from his father and 30 feet away from the Impala when he felt a strong wave of dizziness and he could feel his heart throbbing in his ears. 

John knew Dean was exhausted and need to rest. John ran to Dean and they quickly ran back into the woods where they both dug a whole and burnt the werewolf corpse. It wasn’t until they were walking back that Dean got a bad headache. They were about halfway there when Dean dropped to his knees and held his head in his hands. He crammed his eyes shut. John was at his side. 

“Dean? Deano? What’s wrong?”

Dean looked up at his father and everything faded into black. He woke up in a hospital room. From what John told Dean he suffered from heat stroke. He passed out and then had a seizure. He was also very dehydrated. That’s when everything spilled over when Dean told John that he was trying to prove himself. 

Dean never did that again. After years went by he tried to forget that he was a carrier. It wasn’t until that asshole remind him that he really thought about it. He was a little worried about what that man was going to do but he knew it wasn’t good.

“What are you going to do to me?” 

“Oh, you’ll see.”

Dean swallowed hard. He watched as the man placed his hand on Dean’s upper thighs. “No, don’t do what I think you are going to do.” 

“Oh, Dean. You don’t like this? Are Hell flashbacks coming to your mind? Did Daddy touch you in the wrong places when you were little or did Alastair when you were in Hell? How hard is Zachariah riding your ass to get you to say yes to Michael?”

“Shut up! Get your hands off me, you asshat!” Dean yelled. 

“What, Dean? You don’t like it when I touch you here?”

Dean growled deep in the back on his throat as the man’s hand’s moved closed to his dick. “Stop!”

The man laughed as he wrapped his finger around Dean’s limp muscle then slid his finger in his entrance without any lube. That was painful. Dean bit his lower lip until he taste the metallic flavor of blood hit his tongue to hold back screams. “Oh, Dean, you’re so tight. I’m guessing you are a virgin in these parts.” He laughed and slid the second finger in a stretched the hole. He rubbed Dean’s dick up and down. Dean hated this but his special organ thought differently when he was already half hard.

“Go to Hell, you dick!” 

The man slid out his two fingers and let go of Dean’s penis. Dean let his head fall back onto the mattress as his eyes watched as the man ripped off his shirt and threw it aside and undid his belt. “Why stop now? I’m just starting to have fun.” He smiled as his pants and boxers fell to the ground. The man was wearing nothing but his socks. 

 

“You know, just wearing socks is not very sexy. If you really want me to get all hot and bothered I would take those feet gloves.”

“Only if you insist.” The man spat out as he yanks the fabric off his feet and got in between Dean’s legs once again but this time his face was very close to Dean’s and he straddled Dean’s middle. “If you loved my finger-fucking…you’re just going to love when I shove my dick up your tight little hole.”

“Kiss my ass.” Dean snarled.

“Maybe later. Right now I want to be inside you.” 

“Eat me!”

The man laughed and rammed his dick into Dean tight hole and Dean groaned and tilted his head back and closed his eyes tight. “No, No, No, look at me. I want you to watch me fuck you.” 

The man got into a nice rhythm of going in and out. Dean was in so much overwhelming pain it was hard to keep his eyes open and even harder not to scream. The man grabbed Dean’s face and planted a sloppy kiss on Dean’s lips before moaning and panting and pulling Dean’s hair. 

Dean could feel the come fill his insides. It was like something exploded. He realized he had a raging hard on. He couldn’t believe how turned on his was. The man noticed it too as he pulled out. He gripped it tight and yanked it up and down faster and faster before Dean was taken over by the orgasm and was seeing stars as he came onto his stomach. It puddled and ran down his sides. The man lowered himself and licked up all the come. 

“I knew you would like that.” 

“When my brother gets here we are going to kill you.”

“You’re saying that like you think you’re going to be alive when he find outs.” 

“You’re not going to kill me. My brother and his archangel boyfriend are going to be here any minute and raise some Hell.” 

“You’re going to wish you never said that.” The man smiled. 

***


	2. Chapter 2

Sam woke up that morning wrapped around his lover. He looked up at the clock. ’10:30’ He looked over at the other bed and saw that Dean wasn’t there. His bed was made up. He was never here. He sat up and looked around. Dean’s stuffed was still in the room. He got up and looked through the window. The Impala was in the parking lot. It wasn’t like Dean to go anywhere on foot. He turned to look at his sleeping boyfriend when something caught his eye. He looked back at the car, it was the keys to the Impala. Dean would never just leave those on the ground. He flung open the motel doorway and ran over to the Impala and grabbed the keys when he realized he was just wearing his boxers.

He walked back into the motel to find Gabriel staring at him with disheveled hair. “What’s going on?”

“I think Dean was kidnapped.” 

“What makes you stay that? He was probably out with a girl a lost track of time.” 

“No, the Impala is sitting in the parking lot and I found these by the car.” Sam said tossing the impala keys on the bed. 

“Are those…”

“The keys to the Impala, Dean doesn’t go anywhere without’em.” 

“Well, who could have kidnapped him?”

“Lots of people. We are pretty well know, Gabe. It couldn’t have been an angel because of the brand on our ribs.” 

“So that leaves every supernatural creature and demon could have Dean except angels.” 

“It sounds bad.” 

“It sounds extremely bad.” Gabe remarked. 

Sam walked outside and looked around when he saw a security camera. “Hey, look at this.” 

“Well, look at that. Big brother is watching us.” 

“We need to get to those cameras.” Sam walked back in the motel and flung some clothes on and walked up to the front desk. 

“May I help you?” The man at the front desk asked.

“Hi, yes, um, is there any way I could get my hands on the security camera of the parking lot last night. My son ran off for a concert and I’m freaking out.”

“Yeah, yeah, follow me.” Sam followed the man into this room where the cameras were. 

“You can go work. I know what I’m doing.”

The man nodded and he walked out and Sam began looking through the footage of last night. 

 

&^%$#@!@#$%^&&^%$#@!@#$%^&^%$#@!

 

“AHH!” Dean yelled as the man whipped his now raw stomach. “FUCK!”

“Are you ready to give up? Just say Uncle.”

“Bite me!” Dean growled. The man smiled devilishly before shoved his cock into Dean’s hole. “FUCK YOU!”

The man laughed and came inside Dean. “How about we get carving now?”

Dean groaned let his head fall back onto the bed. His breathing was labored. He talked to himself in his head. ‘Come on, Dean. You went through 30 years of this. You can handle this.’

The man grabbed his knife and carved away for what felt like hours. The pain was intense and Dean was fighting consciousness. When he finally stopped he grabbed his belt again. He whacked Dean a couple time before getting back on the bed. The man was sporting raging hard on. Torturing turned him on. 

Without any warning the man shoved his dick into Dean’s entrance once again. This time he was a lot less gentle. Once the man finally came and Dean was almost cross eyed in pain he grabbed the knife again. After what he thought was three or four hours everything faded to black.

 

&$#@!@#$%^&%$#@!@#$%^&&^%$#@!

 

After two hours of watching the footage he reached around the time stamp of 1:13 in the morning. He saw the Impala roll into the parking space. He watched Dean step out of the car. Sam could tell that Dean hear something. Out of nowhere Dean sways and falls to the ground. A mysterious man picks him up and throws him into a car and drove off. He had to find that man and that car.

Fucking humans. Sam stood up and walked back to his motel room. “I got a hit. It was a human.” 

“A human? How do you know?”

“He must have tranquilized Dean or something then carried him to a car and drove off. I’m guess he took Dean to a warehouse so can you do a sweep to find any sketch warehouse with a red Toyota Corolla with a New Jersey license plate?”

“Sure thing.” And Gabe was gone. 

While Gabe was gone Sam packed the motel just in case they had to get away fast. He put all the stuff in the car and waiting for Gabriel to return. After a 15 minute wait Gabe appeared with some good news. 

“I found the warehouse. The car and I walked around the place. Somebody is screaming in there and the language that is being used it is definitely Dean-o. Now here’s the kicker. It is covered head to toe in angel proofing and crawling with demons. Definitely Crowley. Even worse news, it’s about a four – five hour drive away from here.” 

“Great, we better go now.” Sam said walking to the Impala and Gabe got in the passenger seat to start their adventure to save Dean. “God, I hope Dean’s ok in there.”

 

&^%$#@!@#$%^&*&^%$#@!@#$%^&^%$#@!

 

“Sonvabitch!” Dean was startled awake. 

“Nice to see you awake again.” 

Dean moaned and looked around the empty warehouse. “So, what do you do when you aren’t torturing me? Stare at me?”

“I only do what my orders tell me to do.” 

“Well, do your orders tell you to untie me so I can take a leak?”

“I can’t untie you. I’m supposed to seat here until Crowley get here.”

“Well, from what I have noticed, you get a major hard on while torturing me. I don’t think Crowley’s orders were to mindlessly fuck my brains out were they? I’ll tell you this. I just did to piss. I’m definitely too weak to fight you.”

The man walked over to the bed and got close to Dean’s face. “Hold it.” 

Dean spit in his face. The man walked back over to his seat and wiped his face with his sleeve. Three hours passed and Dean was growing desperate almost begging. The man never moved. Dean moaned and squeezed his eyes shut. Ten minutes later Crowley appeared in the room. 

“Squirrel, it’s nice to see you. You look lovely.” 

Dean just grunted. “He hasn’t broken yet, sir, but he does have to go to the bathroom. He’s almost begging.”

Crowley looked at Dean. Dean tried his hardest to shift and squirm. “Have fun with him. I want him to be broken. He’ll just be putty in my hands. Do any to get him to break.” 

“Yes, sir.” The man said as Crowley vanished again. The man clapped his hands together and smiled. “I’m going to have so much fun.”   
***


	3. Chapter 3

Dean moaned as the man crawled onto the bed and placed his hand on Dean’s thighs. “Just untie me. What would this prove?”

The man scowled and then back handed Dean across the face. A spurt of hot urine shot of his dick. The man smiled. “Now we’re getting somewhere.” 

Dean whimpered as the man place his thumbs on Dean’s bloated middle from his full bladder. The man pressed firmly on Dean’s stomach. Dean gritted his teeth and whimpered as urine stream out of his dick and puddle between his thighs. After about a minute the man stopped and let go of Dean. Dean’s bladder was still half full so he decided to just let the rest out. Once he was empty his closed his eyes and let his head fall on the mattress again. The man straddled Dean. He held his belt and grinned down at Dean. 

In one swift move the man whipped Dean across the face. “Who’s a little bitch?” Dean remained silent. He got an another whip across the face. “Answer me!”

Dean just stared up at the man. The man growled in frustration. He then shoved his dick into Dean’s entrance. Dean groaned and clenched his fist against the restraints. The man plowed into Dean hole and rammed into Dean’s prostate over and over again. The man moaned with pleasure. “You kinky son of a bitch.” 

That got Dean a swipe with a blade across his cheekbone. The an climaxed and cam inside Dean and got off him. The man whipped Dean a couple more times on the stomach. Dean was breathing in pants. He looked at his stomach and saw blood beading down his sides. It looked so raw. “Let’s try this again. Who’s. A. Little. Bitch?” The man said getting close to Dean’s face again. 

Dean spit bloody salvia in the man’s face. “Go to Hell.” 

Dean was swiped again with the knife but this time a little deeper. A scream escape Dean’s lips. The man got off Dean’s lap and walked off somewhere. Dean tried to look around to see where he went but all of a sudden he was deuced with streaming hot water. Dean screamed out in white hot pain. “You should realize by now, Dean, that with all that sarcasm and smart remarks that you have no control over this situation. Your brother probably isn’t even looking for you. He probably left you for dead.”

“Shut up! Shut up! Sammy wouldn’t do that! He would never leave me!” Dean yelled. 

“Then where is he? Hm? We have been at this torture thing for about 24 hours. Do you ever think that maybe…just maybe your brother is dead?”

“No, stop it!” Dean said reaching his breaking point. 

“He died screaming.” 

Dean bit his lower lips as tears streamed down his face. He closed his eyes and whimpered. He couldn’t take it anymore. For the next two hours the man sliced and carved. Dean gave up. The light behind his eyes was gone. He stared at the man blankly. The man even fucked Dean twice and Dean didn’t even say a word. Dean even got hard both times. Dean didn’t say one word was the man jerked him off. He came and it ran down the man’s hand. His body was limp now. He was broken. The man laughed and smirked in accomplishment. He summoned Crowley to see he masterpiece. 

“Hello, Jeremy.” Crowley greeted.

“Look, sir. I did it. Dean has broken.” Jeremy smiled. 

Crowley stood in amazement. Dean had given up. Dean was staring blankly at Crowley without a hint of rage. Crowley almost pitied the man…almost. Crowley walked over to Dean and slapped him across the face. The only response Crowley got and air escape Dean lips as he exhaled shakily. “I’m impressed, Jeremy. I didn’t think you had it in you.” 

“What do I do now, sir?”

“Untie him. I don’t think he will be going anywhere in his condition. IF he start to become responsive again, tie him back up and beat the sense out of him.” 

“Yes, sir.” Jeremy replied as Crowley vanished. Jeremy did as he was told. Dean didn’t even watch Jeremy. After 4 hours Dean still hadn’t responded. He just laid there and breathed. Around that time Jeremy head something going on outside. He walked over to the door opened it a crack. That’s when he noticed that all the guards were lying dead. Next he knew he gone knocked to the ground by a giant man. 

“Where’s Dean?” Sam said with a blade to Jeremy’s neck.

Jeremy was terrified. He point over to the bed. Sam stabbed Jeremy in the throat and ran over to Dean. First thing Sam noticed was that he was naked, second that he was almost lifeless. Sam checks Dean over. He was bleeding pretty badly. His wrists were torn up from what looks like rope. It was the same thing on Dean’s ankles. Gabriel appeared with the clothes Dean was wearing from the night he was kidnapped. 

“Dean? Dean? Can you hear me? It’s Sammy. Dean?” Sam said as he cupped Dean’s jaw and forced Dean to look at him. The lights were on but nobody was home. Gabriel disappeared and the next thing Sam knows he is pinned to the ground with Crowley staring down at him. 

“Moose! What a pleasant surprise? Don’t you just love what I did to Squirrel?”

“I am going to kill you! I’m going to rip your heart out.”

“Save that for Lucifer, Moose. Why do you think I was torturing Dean? I don’t want him to say yes to Michael. I want you to say yes to Lucifer. I thought breaking your brother until he couldn’t be fixed again would get you to say yes.” 

“That will never happen.” Sam spat out.

“Oh and why’s that?”

“There’s an archangel behind you.” 

Crowley turned around and Gabriel placed his hand upon Crowley head and Crowley shined a bright white light. His vessel fell to the ground. Crowley was dead. Sam was unpinned and he quickly dashed to Dean who still aid there motionless except for the weak rise and fall of his chest. “Come on, Dean. Say something. It’s your little pain-in-the-ass little brother here. Nobody is going to hurt you. Gabe is going to patch you up all nice and new again. You’re going to be ok, big brother.” Sam teared up. 

Sam turned to Gabe and saw the Gabe didn’t walk over to Dean. Gabe just hung his head shamefully. Sam was confused. “I’m sorry, love.” 

“What are you sorry for? Fix Dean. Heal him. Place your hand on him and work your angel mojo.” 

“I can’t, Sammy. Dean is broken beyond what I can heal. He has to heal on his own.”

“Why? What did Crowley do to my brother?”

“He hurt Dean more than just physically. Something broke in Dean’s noggin. Something broke in Dean’s soul. We can only seat an wait.”

“Dean’s wake. He’s not asleep. He should be able to respond.” 

“Sammy, go to the Impala and bring it to the front door. I’ll bring Dean to the car. We need to get Dean somewhere safe and stable not a motel room.” 

Sam hesitated for a moment then nodded and ran out of the warehouse and to the Impala a few blocks down. Once he was in the car he let out a shaky breath. “Dean’s going to be fine. We are going to get to Bobby’s and he will be as good as new.” 

Sam laid his head on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry, Dean.” He drove to the door of the warehouse where he saw Gabe carrying Dean like a groom would carry his bride. Dean’s head was slumped against Gabe’s chest and his hands and feet were limp. Gabe had managed to dress him. In his hand were Dean’s shoes and socks though. 

Sam grabbed the shoes and socks and put them in the trunk as Gabe slide Dean into the back and Gabe put Dean’s head in his lap. Sam looked over at Gabe. “It would be better if I stayed here with Dean to make your sure is ok.”

Sam nodded. “Sioux Falls isn’t far from here. We have about a two hour drive.” Sam step stepping on the gas. 

After the forever long car ride they made it Bobby’s. Once Sam cut the engine Sam flew out of the car and to Bobby’s front door. “Bobby! Bobby! Open up! It’s Sam!”

Sam heard the wheels turning to the door. Bobby opened up. “Sam?”

“Bobby, Dean’s been hurt…bad.”   
***


	4. Chapter 4

Sam sat in a chair by the bed Gabe had laid Dean in. He rested his elbows on his knees and held chin in his hands. He watched Dean. It had been two days since Gabe brought him in. Sam didn’t move from that spot, except to go to the bathroom. After those two days of sitting in silence he needed to talk. He didn’t care if Dean responded he just needed to talk to his big brother. 

“Hey Dean. I’m not even sure if you can hear me or not. You are pretty beat up. Why don’t you close your eyes and sleep? That’s when I’ll know you will wake up.” Dean remained still. “Come on, Dean. Wake up. Please? Crowley told me that you were broken, unfixable. Gabriel agreed with him. Cas isn’t answering my prayers. I need you, Dean. You are the only thing keeping me from saying yes to Lucifer. I need you man. Give me a sign that you are still with me. Do something please.” Sam begged. 

Sam watched Dean for 15 more minutes then closed her eyes and cried with his head in his hands. 

When Dean came back to reality he was in a familiar yet unfamiliar room. He could hear a quiet sob. He knew it had to be Sam. He turned his head painfully and looked at Sam. “Sam’y?” He rasped. 

Sam’s head shot up. “Dean?”

“Water.” 

Sam nodded and grabbed the glass on the bedside table. He helped Dean take a few sips. “W-Where…”

“We’re at Bobby’s.”

“How lon—“

“You’ve been out cold for over two days but it’s been 4 almost 5 days since you were kidnapped.” Dean tried to sit up and winced then groaned in pain. “Whoa, whoa, take it easy. You were hurt pretty bad. Your stomach and sides were hit he most. Try to sleep, you need the rest.” 

Dean weakly nodded. “Cas?”

“He hasn’t been answering my prayers.” 

Dean nodded and closed his eyes. “G’night Sam’y.” 

“Goodnight, Dean.” Sam said standing up and walked out of the room and into Bobby’s Library. “Bobby?”

“Yeah?”

“Dean’s responding.” Sam said as he sat down on the couch.

“Knew the boy would be ok. How is he?”

“He looked exhausted and in pain so I told him to go to sleep.” 

“Should we try calling Cas?”

“I have tried. Believe me. I prayed last night until I was blue in the face. Cas isn’t answering.” 

“I was listening, Sam.” Cas said as he appeared in the room.

“Cas? Where have you been?”

“I have been helping you, like you asked me too.” 

“Well, I didn’t see you.”

“That’s because I was fixing Dean’s soul like I did when I pulled him out of perdition.” 

“How bad was it?”

“Worse than when I put it back together in Hell. What I don’t understand is how a mere human destroyed Dean’s soul.” 

“He was working for Crowley.”

“No, it takes years for a demon to crush a human soul to piece as bad as Dean’s was. If it takes years for demons it takes human twice as long.”

“Are you saying that Dean’s soul was already broken to pieces and the man who tortured him bought the final hammer down?”

“No, I’m saying that the man may have tortured his outside but Dean’s was mentally beating himself and that man said something that made something snap in Dean’s head.”

“So Dean did that too himself?”

“Yes.” 

“Why would he do that?”

“Remember when we got Famines ring? Well, Famine talked with him. Remember how Dean seemed perfectly fine? I heard what Famine was telling Dean. If I remember correctly the words were burned into my brain. I can never stop thinking about it. Famine said that Dean wasn’t hungry because on the inside he was already dead.”

“Why? Why would feel that way?”

“Well, you and your brother have lost a lot in the past. You mom, Dad, your girlfriend, Jess, Ash, Ellen, Jo, you lost him after he lost you. Then there’s you keeping the secret of demon blood then setting Lucifer out of his cage…”

“Alright, Cas, I get it. Please tell me there any good news in this shitty situation.” 

Cas squinted at Sam and cocked his head to the side. It wasn’t a confused look, more of a seriously thinking look. “I do have one thing, but it’s good for most people but I don’t think in our situation it would be all that “good”.” 

“Spit it out, Cas. Any kind of good news is fine with me.” 

“Dean’s pregnant.” 

“Pregnant?” Sam gasped in shocked. “Pregnant? Like—“

“Dean is with child. That man who tortured Dean also repeatedly raped him over and over again for the whole two days he was in that warehouse.”

“How are we going to get through this? Dean can’t be pregnant and be Michael vessel which he will never say yes again and I will never say yes to Lucifer.” Sam stared at Cas. Cas flinched in pain and grabbed his forehead with his eyes slammed shut. “Cas?”

“Something happened? Something very good happened?”

“What? What, Cas? Tell me!” Sam begged. 

“Where’s Gabriel?”

“He went for supplies.” 

“I don’t think he did that.” 

“Righty-roo, Cassie. I did way more than just get supplies.”

“Babe, where’d you go?”

“Michael is out of your half-brother. Adam is fine and back in Heaven where he belongs.”

“How? What happened?”

“Lucifer is dead. Stabbed him with my own angel blade.” 

“I thought you weren’t going to kill your own brother.”

“I was fed up of my brothers temper tantrums.” 

“So, the apocalypse?” Sam asked. 

“It’s over, nothing bad is happening in the world. Michael runs Heaven. Crowley’s Dead, Lucifer’s dead.”

“Well, on a different note, Gabe. Dean’s pregnant and is responding. He is asleep right now.” Sam remarked. 

“That’s great.”

“Can I see him?” Cas asked.

“I don’t know Cas. He looks pretty bad. He got hurt pretty bad. The man who tortured him knew what he was doing and did not go lightly.” Sam remarked.

“I don’t care. I have to see him.” Cas begged.

“Cas, wait until he wakes up, please. Let him rest. For the past two days he has done nothing but breath and sometimes blinks. He needs rest. I call you when he wakes.” 

“Can I stay here? I don’t want to go anywhere without knowing if Dean is ok.” 

“You can stay here as long as you want. Bobby won’t mind.”   
***


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel sat on the couch in Bobby’s house all night. He just sat there. He heard movement from upstairs and rushed into the kitchen and made coffee for whoever was making their way down. It was Sam. “Good Morning, Sam. I hope you slept well.” 

“I guess. I was worrying about Dean all night.”

“I need to see him. I can’t take it any longer, Sam. I have to see him. I don’t care what he looks like. I need to see his soul.” 

“I thought you fixed his soul?”

“Sam, Dean’s soul was worse than it was in Hell. I want to make sure he ok with my own two eyes.” Cas begged.

“Cas, it’s too early for begging. Fine, go up and see him, I checked on him this morning. He was still asleep. That’s probably what he’s going to be doing all of today.” 

“I don’t care.” Cas said walking out of the kitchen. He walked up the stairs. He was almost into the room when he heard someone speaking. 

“S’my…S’my.” Dean whimpered/whispered.

Cas walked faster and entered Dean’s room. “Dean. Dean, it’s Cas.” 

“Cas?” Dean smiled. His eyes were glazed over with a fog of pain and tiredness. 

“You need to rest, Dean.” 

“Bathroom.” Dean managed to spit out. 

“Dean, I don’t want to hurt you but getting out of bed is going to be extremely painful.”

“have to get up.” Dean stretching out his hands for Cas’s help.

“Just know Dean, it’s ok if you don’t make it out of the bed.”

“No, have to make it, Cas.” 

“Was it something that happened at the warehouse.” 

Dean went silence. He nodded as tears built up in his eyes. Cas took Dean’s hands and slowly, painfully, sat Dean up. Dean tried his best not to scream out agony. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 

“ ‘S ok.” Dean managed to spit out as Cas slid Dean’ legs over the side of the bed. 

“I’m going to be here the whole time. You can lean on my if you want.” Cas said frantically. 

Dean nodded and still held on to Cas’s hand as Cas pulled him to his feet. He stood there for a little bit. Cas understood that Dean was waiting for the pain to taper off a little bit so he could endure the pain of walking.

One they were in the bathroom Dean knew he was going to need him. At least he had Cas with him and not Sam. Cas kept Dean balanced by the toilet. Dean pulled out his dick out of his pants did his business and Cas got him back to bed. 

“How are you feeling, Dean.” Cas said holding Dean’s hand still even after Dean had laid down. 

“I’ve been better. ‘m glad you’re here.”

“Why didn’t you pray to me? I could have gotten you out before you got this badly hurt and…” 

“I was ashamed, Cas. It was a human. Did Sammy and Gabe get Crowley?”

“Yes, Crowley is dead, along with Lucifer.” 

“Really? How did he swing that?”

“Gabriel killed him. Michael is also out of your brother Adam and Adam is back in Heaven.” 

“That’s good. What did you mean by and?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You said that if I prayed, you could have saved me and I wouldn’t have gotten hurt as badly and…then you stopped. “

Cas stared at Dean. “That man raped you repeatedly. With that being said, that man got you pregnant.” 

Dean smiled. Cas was confused. Why would Dean be happy that he was pregnant with a rapist’s baby? Dean smirked. “No, Cas, that man didn’t get me pregnant.”

Cas finally realized. “No…” 

“Yes, Congratulations, baby, you’re going to be a Daddy.” 

“How do you know?”

“The night I got kidnapped, I didn’t go to the bar like Sam thought I did. I went to a clinic. I’m 5 weeks pregnant. The one time I bottomed for you.”

“From what Gabe said it’s fine.” 

“How did Gabe kill Crowley?” Dean asked.

“I tell you later, Dean, I think it’s time to tell Sam and Bobby.” 

“We knew it would happen sooner or later. Once I get my strength back we can tell them together.” Dean’s eyes were drooping heavily.

“You really need to rest.” 

“Can you lay with me?”

“I don’t want to hurt you, baby.” 

“Can you just sit with me until I fall asleep then?”

“Sure, I can.” Cas said and carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. 

“Cas? Why can’t you heal me?”  
“My powers are too drained. Your soul was broken worse than it was in Hell. I fixed it, but it took a lot of power.”

“Thank you. It means a lot.” Dean mumbled. 

“It was nothing. I would do anything for you.” 

“So would I, baby.”

“Sleep, Dean.” Cas said as he rubbed the side of his face with his thumb. Dean nodded in agreement. “I love you, Dean.” 

“I love you, too, Cas.” Dean mumbled as he closed his eyes. “We’re going to have a baby, Cas.” 

“I know, baby.” Cas smiled s Dean drifted asleep. Cas just sat beside the bed for 20 minutes to make sure Dean was asleep. Once he was for sure he walked downstairs to find Gabriel and Sam on the couch. 

“You were up there for a long time.” Sam remarked. 

“Dean was awake when I went up. He was calling for you, but I took care of it.” 

“What did he want?”

“He had to use to the bathroom.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Cas. I could have taken care of it. You didn’t have to do that. Did he make it to the bathroom alright?”

“No, No, it’s fine. Dean had a slightly urgency in his voice. He was really scared that he might not make it. I told him it was ok if he didn’t make it and he looked terrified. I asked if it had something to do with the ware house and he nodded.”

“That nasty bastard. So he did make it to the bathroom ok?” Sam asked.

“He was in a lot of pain but he made it there and back fine.”

“Cas, could you help me and Sam out for a moment?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“We are trying figure out something about Dean.” Gabe said. 

“Alright.” 

“Dean is too far along in his pregnancy to have gotten pregnant by that man who raped him. We think the guy had put a spell on Dean that progresses the pregnancy.” Sam said. 

“Maybe, I don’t know.”

“We won’t know until he is on his feet again.” Gabe remarked. 

“Is there any way to heal him faster?” Sam asked. 

“My powers are too drained since I fixed his soul.”

In a flash Gabe was gone. He came back two seconds later with a grin. “I have healed him to the best of my abilities. I have it so he will wake up natural y tomorrow morning. He will be sore and stiff but he is healed.”

“Thank you, babe.” Sam smiled. 

“You guys should go look for that spell or do whatever you two do with a situation like this. I can stay and watch Dean.” 

“Ok, well, we are going to head to the warehouse and check it out for any clues then head to a library.” 

“Alright, I’ll be here keeping my ears out for Dean. Where is Bobby though?”

“Rufus need help on a hunt.” Sam said. 

“Oh, ok.” Cas replied. 

“See you later, Cas. Thanks for everything.” 

“It was nothing.”

“I think we’ll be back either really late tonight or early tomorrow morning.” Sam said as he walked out of the house. Cas nodded and the two shut the door. 

“Sam.” Gabe said once they got in the Impala.

“Yeah.” 

“I learned something about Dean today.” 

“What?”

“He’s not pregnant with that rapist baby.” 

“That makes no sense. Dean’s straight, even if he was gay he would never bottom.” 

“Here’s the kicker. I know the father.”

“Who is he?”

“Castiel.”   
***


	6. Chapter 6

Dean woke up that morning very sore. Nobody was in the room with him. He didn’t hear any movement downstairs so he got up. He slowly and carefully pulled sweatpants on and walked to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw scars from the attack. Even an angels healing couldn’t cover up the pain and gore of what happened that night. An angel’s mojo power couldn’t completely heal him, he was still left with scars.

He pulled on a t shirt and walked downstairs. He still didn’t hear anybody down here. He went into the library where Cas was reading a book not paying any attention to the world around him. Dean looked around the room. Nobody else was there. 

“Cas?” Dean rasped. 

Cas flinched dropping his book and losing his page. “Dean? You’re up and awake.”

“Yeah, I feel 10 times better but still like crap. Where is everybody?”

“Bobby is on a hunt with Rufus. Sam and Gabe should be back shortly.”

“Where’d they go?”

“To the warehouse you were at to check it out.” 

Dean paled a little bit. “No need to explain anymore. I just want to lay my head in your lap and watch mindless TV until they get back so we can share the news.”

Cas watched Dean shakily sit down and lay in his head in Cas’s lap. “Seriously? This soon?”

“Gabriel probably already knows I’m too far along for it to be the rapist anyway.”

“I’m surprised you decided to keep the baby.” Cas said after a few minutes of silence.

Dean smiled. “I’m surprised myself, to tell you the truth.” 

“Why did you keep it?”

“I wanted out.” 

“But you never told Sam.”

“He was the one who would find hunts. I was all for it. Hells yeah, I’m gonna kill some evil sons of bitchs. But after finding out I was pregnant, it was like something clicked. I wanted to have a normal life…with you.” 

Cas smiled. “That’s sweet. What made you decide to head to the clinic?”

“After being sick for four weeks and risking Sammy getting curious I researched food that sat well on your stomach. Soon I wasn’t getting nauseously sick as much or wasn’t puking. Well, the night of the…” Dean paused to not think about the attack. “incident, I had got to a free clinic where after being poked and prodded I was told I was 5 weeks pregnant. You were the only one I…voluntarily bottomed for, so it had to be yours, then the attack happened and I could never share the good news with you.”  
“Well, no you get to share the good news to your brother.”

“They already know I’m pregnant, baby.”

“Yeah, but they don’t know about us.”

Dean smiled and closed his eyes as Cas carded his fingers through Dean’ hair. Soon Dean took a snooze but woke up two hours later give Cas and Dean around 30 minutes to talk before Sam and Gabe arrived. 

When Sam and Gabe entered the house they heard voices and the TV on…never a good sign.

“I just don’t understand.” Cas remarked. 

“There nothing to not understand.” Dean snapped.

“Why would Dr. Sexy wear cowboy boots? That makes no sense.” 

“What makes Dr. Sexy, sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots and not tennis shoes.”

“But that is unrealistic. A real doctor want to wear shoes that support his/her arches so he/she is comfortable throughout the day. Cowboy boot would just hurt after a few hours.”

“It’s not supposed to be realistic. It’s a TV show.”

“But why would someone think that a doctor would chose fashion over comfort.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” Dean smirked. 

“What are you guys arguing over.” Sam said as he enter the library to see Dean’s head in Cas’s lap and Cas running his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Hey, Sammy. It’s nothing. Cas doesn’t understand that TV doesn’t have to make sense.” Dean smiled. 

“What are you guys doing?”

“Just watching TV.” Cas replied as he looked down at Dean. 

“Is there something I should know?” Sam asked.

“Is there something you wanna know?” Dean broke eye contact with Cas. “Is something bothering you, Sam?”

“Nothing’s bothering me, just…”

“I knew we should have changed the channel, Cas. Sam gets weird when I watch Dr. Sexy.” 

“No it’s not that, it’s just…I’ve been thinking…” 

“That can’t be good.” Dean smirked as he sat up.

“Shut up, Dean. It’s just Gabriel checked your baby when he heal your body. The baby isn’t eh rapist…it’s—“

“Mine.” Cas finished Sam’s sentence. “I know, Sam. Dean told me already.”

“How?”

Dean snorted. “Well, Sammy, when a carrier loves man really, really much…”

“I get it, I get it!” Sam interrupted. “I know how babies are made, Dean.”

Dean laughed and slapped a hand on Cas’s knee. “Are you ok with this?”

“Of course, I’m dating Gabriel. How long have you been hiding it?”

Cas and Dean just looked at each other. Cas squinted his eyes and Dean calculated in his head. “Almost 2 years.” They said in unison.

“Wow, really, that long? How did I not notice?”

Dean smiled. “I didn’t go to the bar to pick up chicks.”

“But, I tracked your phone a few times and you were always at a bar.” 

Cas smiled. “We barely ever left the bar.” 

“Come on, guys, in public?”

“Hey, you haven’t lived if you haven’t fucked in a bathroom, on a pool table, in a car, and the Impala…”

“Wait, in a car, not the impala?”

“Yeah, I think whoever own like vehicle was pretty upset when they got in after we left.” Cas laughed. 

“You guys are insane.” Sam covered his face with his hands. 

“It’s been said.” Dean said. “You and Gabe’s relationship is sweet and all but it’s very vanilla. Don’t tell me you have never thought about a threesome on a pool table with the bar owner.”

“Oh God, Dean, don’t tell me you and Cas have done something like that.” Sam cringed.

“That was a weird night.” Cas smiled. 

“Stop, stop, just stop. Guys, what Gabe and I have is special and we like where we are at. We like being “vanilla”.”

“Ok, ok, Sammy. We understand. I would just let your crazy side get some air before you want to start a family.” 

Something about what Dean said didn’t sit well with Sam. “What did you say?”

“Get a little wild before you want to start a family. Once you bring a kid into the world its regularly schedule vanilla sex.” 

“Wait, Dean, you’re saying that like you aren’t going to be still living here once that baby is born.” 

“Hell yeah, I’m not going to be staying here. I love Bobby, but his place is too small and dangerous to raise a child.” 

“Where are you going to go?”

“Sam, you’re acting like we’re moving across the world. There a house for sale a few doors down. Cas and I are going look at that one this weekend and go from there.”  
Sam half-heartedly smiled. He was worried that Dean was still very damaged from the incident but was hiding it for Cas.  
***


	7. Chapter 7

“What do you think the color of the walls should be, babe?” Cas asked Dean as they walked through Lowe’s. 

“I don’t know. This is why I said we should have asked for the gender.” Dean said rubbing his swollen middle. 

“Gabriel can tell you. If you really want to know.”

“Yes, I really want to know.”

“Then call him.”

“He can tell over the phone?”

“Yes, he is an archangel. I bet he already knows what the babies name is. No you’re not going to ask him what the name of our child is.” 

Dean dialed Gabriel’s number and put the phone up to his ear.

“If you’re going to ask about the gender, it’s a girl.” 

“How—“

“Sammy owns me some money.” 

Dean hung up after hearing Sam yell across the room. “We’re having a little baby girl.” 

“Does this mean we can paint the nursery pink?”

“Hell no! This may be my little princess but there no way in Hell that I would paint her nursery pink or purple or yellow.”

“You’re really cutting down the options.” 

“Good.” 

 

“How about a light green or teal?”  
“I like teal.” Dean smiled. He turned around to almost run into another customer. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, watch it buddy.” The man yelled. 

“Hey, how about you calm down. Can’t you tell I’m fucking pregnant?” Dean yelled back.

“Didn’t you see me walking here?” the man replied. 

“If I did I would have gotten out of the way.”

“Hey, that’s enough. Come on Dean.” Cas tried to break off the argument.

“Yeah, you better walk away you faggot.” 

That triggered something in Cas. He slowly turned around towards the man. “What did you say?”

“You heard me.”

Cas walked over to the man. “I don’t think I did. Cause if I did you just called my boyfriend a faggot. If he’s a faggot than what are you?”

“Whoa, man, calm down. This fight is just between me and your boyfriend.” 

“No, if you can’t tell my boyfriend is 7 months pregnant with my baby daughter. It’s my job to keep them safe. Next time you call someone a fag I think you should think about what you call yourself when you get something shoved up your ass behind your wife’s back.” Cas walked away with Dean. 

Dean’s eyes were wide and a little shaky. Ever since the incident Dean has been different. He tries to cover it up. He tells everyone he is fine and the same Dean he was before the incident and barely remembers it. Cas knew Dean’s triggers but a average bystander wouldn’t. It’s the little things. If you grab Dean’s arm or wrist is when he starts to panic. He has become very claustrophobic and doesn’t like long car trips anymore, he blames it on the baby pressing his bladder. Dean can’t lay in a bed longer than needed, he also blamed that on the baby pressing on his back. Sam didn’t even notice. Sam actually believed Dean didn’t really remember the attack and was perfectly fine, but Cas could see inside Dean’s soul.

That guy Crowley hired to torture Dean did a number on him. One thing that has majorly changed was Dean and Cas’s sex life. Dean was raped repeatedly for over 24 hours, Dean and Cas’s sex life plummeted, in fact there was nothing. Dean and Cas definitely tried millions of times but if Cas ever got close to Dean’s tight entrance, Dean would instantly go stiff and then his boner was gone. 

Dean walked to the car as Cas bought the paint they decided on and was shortly behind Dean. Dean got in the car as Cas put the paints in the trunk. Once Cas was in the driver’s seat he looked over at his boyfriend. “Are you ok?”

Dean was silent for a few moments, then spoke. “Yeah, I’m fine, let’s just get home.”

“Tell me what upset you. It wasn’t your fault. That guy was just a asshole.” 

“I’m fine Cas, that guy was a douche.”

“Dean…”

“Cas, I don’t wanna talk about it. Can we just get home please?” 

Yeah, Dean was perfectly fine. They drove home in silence. Dean went straight up bed when they finally did get home. Great. 

Sam and Gabriel came over a few hours later. Dean was still up stairs. Cas had gone up a few times but Dean wasn’t talking. His head was under a pillow and curled up as much as possible under the sheets. 

“So what happened?” Sam asked when they entered the living room.

“We were at Lowes looking a paint colors for the nursery when Dean turned and almost bumped into a man. The man was way out of line. He ended up calling Dean a faggot. I told the guy out and then we left. Dean looked upset but said he was fine. Now he has been laying in bed for the past three hours.” 

“Well, he’s going to have to get up sooner or later because you know Dean even with his iron clad bladder, that baby still presses it pretty damn hard, so Dean will have to pee sooner or later.” Gabe said. 

 

~Dean’s POV~

 

Dean laid in the bed terrified. Usually his panic attack happen at night when Cas is asleep and Dean had been startled awake by his own nightmare. Dean had tried so hard to hide the panic attack in the car and had to get up to the bedroom fast. 

At first his was just in the bed to calm himself down and then he would make his way down stairs again, but once he was calm he had fallen asleep. He woke up with a full bladder and on his back. That when he baby decided to pressed down on Dean’s bladder and stay there. It was like the attack all over again. 

Dean went into a paralyzing panic attack. He couldn’t stop it. Once it was over and Dean’s breathing hitched, tears brimmed his ear lids and he covered his face with his head.   
Dean hated to feel weak, and everyone had been saying that he was strong and he was doing so well for what had happened to him, but in reality Dean was cracking under pressure. Dean was actually weak and fragile and just putting on a brave face for his boyfriend and brother for their peace of mind.  
***


	8. Chapter 8

“I think I’m going to go talk with Dean.” Sam said as he stood up from the couch.

“Sam, Dean’s not talking.” 

“He is my brother. I’ve been looking up to him since I was four. I know him better than anyone. I can get him to talk.” He walked out of the room and up the stairs. Immediately, Sam knew something was wrong when he got to the doorway of Cas and Dean’s room. It was as if someone was crying. Sam quietly stepped into the room.

Dean sitting up in the bed with his head in his hands. “Dean?”

Dean head shot up. His eyes were bloody shot and teary. He instantly tried to wipe his face of the tears and act like Sam didn’t see what was going down. “Hey, Sam. Um…I was just about to head downstairs. I was just tired for walking around Lowes. I’m fi—“

“Dean, stop. You look miserable. You’re a wreck. What’s going on?” Sam said with all seriousness. 

“Sam…”

“NO, Dean, you’re not bottling it up this time. Tell me what’s going on.”

Dan just stared at Sam. “It’s…nothing, Sam.” 

“Don’t give me that bullshit. I just saw you balling your eyes out. I’m gonna guess two things. 1) This has happen many times before. 2) It’s about the incident.” Dean nodded and looking down at his baby bump. “Let me help you, man. What happened?”

“I had a panic attack that started in Lowe’s. The guy got in my face and I freaked. I got in the car and tried to calm down and the came up here and fell asleep, but when I woke up and got into a paralyzing panic attack and this happened.” Dean lifted the sheet to reveal his soaked sweatpants and bed sheet. “I woke up with a full bladder and the baby pressed down on it and it brought back memories of the attack and I panicked and it just happened.” Dean choked on his words.

“It’s ok, Dean. It happened. Especially when you’re 7 months pregnant.” Sam said as he helped Dean out of bed. “Let’s get you in the shower and I’ll change the sheets.”

“Sam?” Dean mumbled before he head to the bathroom with his new clothes.

“Yeah?”

“Can you not mention this to Cas? I don’t want him to worry about me.” 

“Dean, how many times do you have these panic attacks?” Dean just stared at Sam. “I’m guessing you have them a lot.”

Dean nodded. “Can you just pleased not tell Cas?”

“Why?”

“I don’t want him to pity me.” 

“Why would he pity you?”

“’Cause I have panic attacks, pissed myself, can’t even fight back to some asshole at the store, I’m fragile.” 

“You’re not fragile, Dean. You were raped and tortured. We all know that it’s going to be a while before you fully recover and maybe longer than normal because you are pregnant.”

“Can you please just not tell Cas, Sam? Please?” 

Sam sighed. “Fine, go get in the shower. I got the sheets.”

“Thank you, I’m gonna tell him, but not right now.” 

Sam nodded and watched Dean head into the bathroom and shut the door. At least Sam knew Dean was still broken. Sam striped the bed of the soaked sheets and laid them beside the bed and flipped the mattress and put new sheet on the bed by the time Dean the time Dean got out of the shower.

“I got the bed remade. Just need to take the sheet downstairs to wash them. Wanna go out with Cas for a dinner date or something?”

Dean nodded. He was about to walk out of the room when he turned around and walked over to Sam and pulled him into a hug. Sam was stunned for a moment before  
wrapping his brother in the embrace. “I’m gonna get better, right?” Dean asked when he pulled away. 

“Definitely, but there will be a few dents in your armor, but hey, it’s not like wasn’t any before.” Sam smirked.  
“Thanks, Sammy. Really.”

“It’s nothing, Dean.” 

Dean walked down the stairs. He walked into the living room where Cas and Gabe were talking. “Look he lives.” Gabe remarked.

“Cas, you wanna go out for dinner?”

“Are you ok?” Cas responded quickly.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just got a little pissed off by that asshole.”

“Alright, Gabe, you and Sam wanna join us?” Cas turned around to look at Gabe. Dean stood behind Cas and shook his head rapidly mouthing “NO.” 

“Nah. I think Sam and I will grab something a little late. You guys should have some alone time.”

Dean smiled and Cas nodded his head. “Let’s go then.” Dean said walking towards the door.

“Wait, let me grab my jacket. I think I hung it up in the laundry room.” Cas said retreating across the house. 

“Wait, wait, Cas, Don’t…”

“Dean, why is Sam in the laundry room washing our bed sheets and some of your clothes?” Cas asked as Dean entered the room.

“He offered.”

“What are you hiding from me, Dean?”

“I’m just going to head home. Come on, Gabe.” Sam dashed out of the house grabbing Gabe’s arm.

Once Cas heard the door shut he glared at Dean. “What aren’t you telling me, Dean? Why was Sam doing laundry?”

Dean sighed and looked down at his belly because he couldn’t look at the ground. “I peed the fucking bed.” 

“I’m sorry, baby. It happens.” Cas walked over to Dean.

“No.” Dean pushed Cas away. “You don’t understand. She pressed up against my bladder when I was laying in bed and I had a panic attack and couldn’t move and it just happened. I had a panic attack that started in Lowe’s. The guy got in my face and I freaked. I got in the car and tried to calm down. I was still freaking out a bit when we got home so I went upstairs. Cas, I’m broken, like really broken. I have panic attacks almost every day, some worse than others. I freak out when she kicks or when I wake up and you aren’t there. I used to hunt monsters and now I get freaked out when a dickface asshole get too close to me or you.” Dean slid down to the floor as tears fell down his cheeks.

Cas fell the ground and pulled Dean to his chest as best as he could his Dean’s bump. “Shhh, baby. It’s ok. I’m here for you, always. I’m never going to leave you. It’s ok to be scared. What you went through was terrifying, but this baby girl is yours and mine, not yours and Crowley’s bitch’s. You’re not broken you are healing. There’s a difference.”

“But, Cas, I don’t deserve you. I’m so –“

“Dean Winchester, don’t you dare say that you are fragile. Don’t you EVER think that you don’t deserve me. I love you more than anything. Don’t ever think otherwise.” 

Dean looked up at his boyfriend. Cas bent down and kissed Dean on his chapped lips. 

“I know we haven’t been able to really have sex but I don’t mind going slow. Take all the time in the world.” 

“I just can’t right now, Cas.”

“That’s fine with me. I don’t care if we never have sex again. I don’t need it to still be in complete and total love with you.” Cas smiled. 

Dean reached up and kissed Cas and Cas returned the kiss. “I love you, Castiel.” 

“I know.”  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :) Just wanted to make a little update. I feel like this story will be coming to a end shortly :(
> 
> I also wanted to ask for y'alls opinion, if you haven't already read (you should) my short story (Are You Lonesome Tonight?), i wanted to make it a series and each story be a different theme from an Elvis song (Love me Tender, Can't Help Falling in Love, Jailhouse Rock, Hound Dog, etc, etc...)
> 
> What do you guys think?  
> Please give me y'alls opinions :)


	9. 2 Months Later...

Cas sat along a wall in the labor and delivery part of the hospital. He had his knees pulled to his chin and tears slowly streamed down his face. He could hear the panicked screams of his boyfriend through the door. Sam paced back and forth down the halls. 

The state Dean was in was hurting the baby. Each contraction freaked him out. Cas knew he need to be there with Dean but the doctors kicked both him and Sam out. The doctors thought it was him and Sam causing his distress. Dean’s screams have only gotten louder. Cas could heard Dean scream his name. It had been 30 minutes since they were kicked out. 

A doctor walked out of Dean’s room in a rush and searched the hallways until his eyes met with Cas’s. “Mr. Novak. I need to talk with you.” 

Cas nodded wiping his eyes and standing. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong with my boyfriend?”

“It has seemed that Dean is suffering from PTSD. We just can’t figure out why. I was wondering if you would have an answer about that.”

“Yes, he as PTSD. He was kidnapped less than a year ago. He was 5 weeks pregnant with my baby. He was tortured, beaten, raped, molested, he man who did it had a whole string of weird fetishes and kinks, it was insane. Now he is struggling having this baby and dealing with healing.” 

“Dean’s body is way past healing, Mr. Novak. The things he has done to his body behind your back—I’m surprised you haven’t noticed. The self-inflicted wounds on Dean’s body are…bad. We tested Dean’s blood when you two first entered the hospital. He had a dangerous amount of pain killers in his system. His body is growing weaker. I’m fairly certain Dean will not make it through delivery if you and him choose to deliver her naturally. Dean will, in fact, die.”

“Anything to save, Dean…and my baby girl.” Cas croaked.

“We are sending Dean to the operating room for a C-section, right now. There is a better chance the baby can live that way.” 

“What about Dean?” Cas asked bring his hand to his mouth and bit his pointer finger. 

The doctor was silence for a moment. “We are trying our best.”

Cas choked on air as a sob. “No…” He mumbled as he fell to his knees. 

The doctor crouched down beside Cas. “Mr. Novak, it seems to me that Dean didn’t want to survive. Maybe if he wasn’t attacked like he was he would be fine but in the mind state he is in, he is sinking, even if we can save him after the delivery…he’s not going to be himself.” 

Cas just stared at the doctor. He sighed and wiped his eyes again. “Just…just do what you gotta…”

The doctor nodded and helped Cas up. “Do you want to be with him during the C-section?”

Cas shook his head. “No, I-I-I can’t. I can’t see him like that.”

“I will keep you and Dean’s brother updated.”

“Thanks, doctor.” 

The doctor stood up and walked down the hall. Cas just watched. Somehow Sam got him into the waiting room. 

After half an hour Cas got up the courage to talk. “Sam, Dean’s gonna die in there.” 

“What are you talking about? It’s just a PTSD attack. They had to go and cut her out because Dean’s blood pressure was getting too high. He’s gonna be fine, just like he always is.” Sam preached. 

“The doctor said he might die, Sam.” 

“He gonna be fine.” Sam said. 

As Sam said that the doctor, who did the C-section, walked in. His scrubs had a lot of blood on them. Cas quickly stood on shaky legs. “How are they?”

“You have a little daughter, Mr. Novak.”

“And Dean?” Cas walked over to the doctor.

A normal person wouldn’t have noticed it but Cas wasn’t normal. He saw the slight shook head. Cas wanted to just die, but he had to stay strong. 

Sam got up and walked over to Cas and the doctor. “What happen to my brother?”

“He died before we started the C-section. We had to quickly get the baby out. He was thankfully health and breathing on her own. It was a surprise that she was that healthy due to the amount of pain killers and harm Dean had done to himself.”

“No, Dean wasn’t doing anything bad to himself. I kept my eyes on him.”

“Come with me, your daughter is being cleaned up and you should be able to take her home today.”

“Take me to him.” Sam demanded. 

“I cannot do that.” 

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Won’t. You won’t like what you see.” The doctor remarked. 

“I. Don’t. Care. Take me to see my brother.” Sam was fuming. 

“As you wish.” Sam followed the doctor. Cas brought up the rear. 

They walked down the basement where the morgue and like the doctor said Dean was down there. He was laying flat on a metal platform. Cas wouldn’t even call it a table. Dean had a pale blue sheet placed over his pelvis and legs. Cas could see the C-section incision. With that being said Dean’s arms from the elbow up were like ribbons. He had cuts on his palms like he dug his nail into his hands. His thighs were they were caught in a blender. Tears formed on Cas’s eyelids. He was shaking. He wasn’t even in the room yet and he was almost in a full panic.

Once Cas was in the room Sam was clenching his fist in anger. “Doc, can we have some time with Dean…privately.”

The doctor nodded. He walked out of the room. It took a minute but Sam finally spoke. “You stupid son of a bitch” Sam whimpered. Cas looked confused. Sam’s eyes were dead set on Dean. “You told me you were getting better. You told me you were happy. We talk about what we would do after you had Animula. How could you do that to me, to Cas?”

“Animula?” Cas asked. 

“Dean wanted that to be her name. It’s Latin for a small soul.”

“Are you going to be ok, Sam?”

Sam shook his head. “Heal him.”

“I can’t. I wish I could.” 

Sam sobbed. Cas stood there for 15 minutes before leaving the room and soon flying back to the house with Animula Vita Winchester. 

Cas was never going to be the same…  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Either the next chapter or the next will be the end...
> 
> *Animula means little or small soul  
> *Vita means Life


	10. Epilogue

“Dad?” Animula peered around the corner as Cas sat on the couch reading a book.

“Yes?”

“Can I talk to you?”

“You always can talk to me, Ani.” Cas smiled as he looked from his book.

Ani sighed and fell back on to the cushion. “What was Papa like?”

Cas was shocked for a moment. “Ani, you know how I feel about questions like that.” 

“I know, I know, Dad. It’s a touchy subject, but I really want to know everything about my father. I mean I already know everything I want to know about you, I know learn about my father I never met.”

Cas sighed and this time set down his book. He was going to tell her everything. “Alright, I’ll tell you about your Papa.” Ani smiled. It was a good thing Gabriel, Sam and Cas had already told Ani all about the supernatural.

“Dean Winchester. One of the best hunters around, with his brother and father Samuel and John Winchester, they were unstoppable. Until they weren’t.” Cas stared into space. He had been Dean Winchester guardian longer than Dean had known him. He watched the wreck unfold. He watched John make that deal to save Dean. “Sam and Dean lost their mother in a fire due to a demon when Dean was 4 and Sam was 6 months old and lost their father from a deal due to that same demon, 23 years later. Dean was crushed. Then Sam was taken because he was chosen to lead a demon army. A guy named Jake killed him. That’s when Dean made a deal with a crossroads demon, sealed with a kiss, to save Sam, but it gave him only a year to live. He did die but that’s where I came in. I gripped him tight a raised his from perdition. Well, Sam let Lucifer out of his cage and Uncle Gabe killed him. Along with Crowley. But he was too late to completely save Dean. He had been kidnapped, tortured, and raped. He was already pregnant with you. He wasn’t himself after that. Even if we were cutting up and laughing, something was different about him. It was PTSD plus depression. He had a PTSD attack while in labor with you. His blood pressure spike rapidly and they had to cut you out. It was either operate and you survive or deliver natural and you and Dean both die. He died before that aesthesia was giving to him. He wanted to die before having you because of your name. Animula Vitam Winchester. Animula means small soul and Vitam means life. Don’t get me wrong, Ani. Dean was the nicest, kindest, sweetest person out there. No one cared more that Dean Winchester. He always put the needs of other before himself, no matter who you were.” Cas tried to smile and hold back tears at the same time.

“Do you miss him?”

“More than anything.” Cas whimpered. Even after 19 years Cas still can’t hold it together over the thought of Dean. 

“I wish I could have met him.” 

Cas smirked. “He was an asshole.” 

“Why do you say that?”

“But I still love him. He was my asshole.” CAs was starting to get very teary eyed. “Every morning I wake up and I think he is laying in bed beside me sleeping and snoring softly. But then I open my eyes and there is nothing but empty space.”

“It’s ok, Dad. Some things work out for the better.” Ani said rubbing his back.

“Wait, what did you say?”

“Some things work out for the better?”

“Why do you say that?” Cas said as he wiped away the fresh trial of tears. 

“Even though he is gone his legacy is still here. Like you said he is one of the best hunter in the supernatural society. He died with the label for his courage, strength, will-power, and knowledge.”

Cas smiled and just simply nodded. They sat in silence for a while. “So the student became the teacher just then. I’m your Dad. I’m supposed to tell the good advice not the other way around.” 

Cas got up and looked at his daughter. “I just learned from the best.” She replied to him.

“Come on, let’s get to bed, you have class in the morning.” 

She stood to her feet and headed to her room. “Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for tell me about Papa.” She smiled. 

“Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.” Cas returned the smile. 

She nodded and waved her hand. “Good night, Dad.”

“Goodnight Ani. I love you.” Cas laid down in his bed and then he heard shuffling in his room around 20 minutes later. There was a dip in the bed and he turned to find Ani laying with him. She was already comfortable so he just rolled back over and drifted to sleep fast and there were no nightmares about Dean’s death. He thought to himself. ‘Maybe Ani was right. Some things work out for the better.’” Cas closed his eyes once again and slept. He was happy again, truly happy, all it took was his daughter asking about her Papa.   
***


End file.
